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A Friend in Me: How to Be a Safe Haven for Other Women, by Pamela Havey Lau
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Young women long for relational connection with women further ahead of them on the journey. Yet, without realizing it, many of us tend to distance ourselves from those in younger generations. Can we really have close relationships with women who have different thoughts on church, different experiences with family, and different ways of talking about God? Where do we start?
In A Friend in Me, Pam Lau shows you how to be a safe place for the younger women in your life. She offers five patterns women need to internalize and practice for initiating relationships and talking about issues such as faith, forgiveness, sexuality, and vocation. Most significantly, she reminds you that there doesn’t need to be a divide between generations of women. Together, we can have a global impact—and experience a deeper faith than we’ve ever known.
Pam Lau is the author of Soul Strength and numerous articles for such publications as Christian Scholar’s Review and Christianity Today. She has taught writing at George Fox University and speaks around the country at conferences and retreats. A graduate of Liberty University and Colorado State University, Lau lives near Portland, Oregon, with her husband and three daughters.
- Sales Rank: #556598 in eBooks
- Published on: 2015-06-01
- Released on: 2015-06-01
- Format: Kindle eBook
Review
“Am I in a relationship because I truly care about another woman—or because I want to check caring off my list of to-dos? Does my tone of voice really matter in a friendship? Pam pushes us past our blind spots to a more honest self-assessment and therefore more meaningful connection with the women in our lives, especially the younger ones we most want to love well.”Elisa Morgan, speaker and author of The Beauty of Broken (Elisa Morgan)
“If you long to make a lasting difference in the lives of women in the next generation, read A Friend in Me. With raw honesty, poignant illustrations, and courageous action steps—all woven within biblical truth—Pamela Havey Lau has written a book that challenges women to be intentional about investing their time, influence, knowledge, and friendship in women. Don’t miss this extraordinary book!”
Carol Kent, speaker and author of Becoming a Woman of Influence (Carol Kent)
“Friendship with other women has been a powerful source of grace and sustenance in my life. With this book that is both practical and discipling, I hope friendship—with other women and with God—becomes this for you too.”
Katelyn Beaty, managing editor of Christianity Today magazine (Katelyn Beaty)
“A Friend in Me is a must-read for any woman seeking to build meaningful relationships with the next generation of women. Transparent, yet practical, Pam Lau’s message is filled with stories of hope and grace, passionately calling women to stand against the culture wars while humbly reaching out to the next generation of women. We urge you to read this book as you consider how you will pass along your faith in today’s rapidly changing world.”
Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, authors of Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts (Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott)
"I am thrilled that Pam has written this book because so many lives will be changed if we heed the advice and biblical guidance she brings.”
Dan Kimball, pastor of Vintage Faith Church and author of They Like Jesus but Not the Church (Dan Kimball)
“This book is a powerful tool, pairing stories and principles to reimagine the way women of different ages and backgrounds can relate to one another. By offering a roadmap for women who desireto forge more intimate and authentic relationships with younger women, Pamela Havey Lau enables women to stand together as they navigate the challenging journey of life and faith. Pamela is a passionate, honest, comforting guide who, having turned her own despair into hope, credibly encourages others to do the same. She challenges readers to share their own stories with transparency, venerability, and humility in order to create space for young women to believe that their story is heard, understood, and valued. This book illuminates our need for intergenerational relationships, as we all sit, together, in the sacred presence of God.”
Christena Cleveland, PhD, author of Disunity in Christ and associate professor of reconciliation studies at Bethel University (Christena Cleveland)
About the Author
Pam Lau is the author of Soul Strength and numerous articles for such publications as Christian Scholar’s Review and Christianity Today. She has taught writing at George Fox University and speaks around the country at conferences and retreats. A graduate of Liberty University and Colorado State University, Lau lives near Portland, Oregon, with her husband and three daughters.
Most helpful customer reviews
9 of 9 people found the following review helpful.
Review: A Friend In Me
By Randa Russell
Good morning book nerds! It's a fabulous Friday, and today I am talking about Pamela Havey Lau's book A Friend in Me. This is a book that focuses on bridging the generational gap between young women, and older women of the Christian faith.
I must say that in starting this book, I was quite skeptical. As a young women in the church, I have heard many spoken ideas on generational mentorship, but have not seen much action (other than my mother and mother-in-law with me—they break the mold). So, I came to this with an idea of what I was going to get, and was pleasantly surprised that what I got exceeded my expectations immensely.
IMG_8245Lau's voice is clear, and her passion for this generational connection is a hungry sort of authorship. She hits both generations problems with the other beautifully, and more than that—accurately. She doesn't just scold the younger generation for a lack of respect and morality, and she doesn't just praise older women for the moral high ground and maturity. I also would 100 percent agree with her that the younger women long to connect on a very personal level without the fear of being a huge disappointment to those of the older generations.
She addresses the phantom closeness that social media provides for those of BOTH generations, and the need for us to truly connect. Social media provides such a false sense of relationship, when most of us are lonelier than ever. She addresses judgment, humility, and other barriers that inhibit genuine relationship.
BUT what I love the most is two things: First, she is genuine. She is from the gate an honest author that shares personal experience verses lofty ideas or conjectures. Second, she provides practical solutions! PRAISE JESUS! There are easy to understand truths, and achievable actions to follow in gaining safety in generational relationships.
She addresses tone of voice, forgiveness, praying with pure motives, getting help when we don't understand the situation fully, prayer, and divine comfort. Her premise from the beginning is to show "Christ's extraordinary love," and to do that by the way we chose to "change the way we are relating."
Lovely read people. I would encourage anyone (spiritually young or old) to read this, and ask God to help you have an open heart. How can we relate? How can we bridge this gap?
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful.
"Gone is the myth of the superwoman"
By LSype
The bottom line in this book: Women need each other, especially in cross-generational connections. Pam Lau makes a strong case for need of deep, Christ-centered female relationships without the judgement, preaching, or condemning. This is a fabulous book with honest insight about the realities of what is lacking in personal female-to-female friendships, why there is distance between the older and younger generations, and the dire desire for real closeness. In this age of watching each other do our lives from the safety of social media, the disconnection leaves younger women wandering through life with questions, uncertainties, and misconceptions about what real-life looks and feels like, which can sometimes lead to devastating life choices/changes. Lau challenges that if we come alongside one another--DO life together--the connection between lives offers hope, understanding, and a chance to not only survive life's challenges but to find redemption and restoration in the shattered parts.
Using Biblical references and personal experience from her own friendships, her own life-story, and her encounters with women from all over the nation, Lau lays out practical guidance on HOW to be refuge for one another. From the toughest conversations about sex, divorce and abortion to general everyday encouragement Lau teaches how to engage with each other without judgement or the need to "fix" what's wrong. I especially appreciated the specific focus on how to be comforting, compassionate, understanding, and forgiving. I know I need to be these things, but often I am not sure how.
No woman needs to be doing life alone. That isn't what God intended. Read this book to learn why and to learn how to seize the opportunity to show the love of God IN the lives the younger women.
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful.
I love Pam's book
By Chris Beighle
I love Pam's book. It opened my eyes to my role as mentor to the generations of young Christian women behind me, and also caused me to view my relationship with my college-age daughter with fresh eyes and a new perspective. It is a rare book that spurs me to take quick action -- but Pam's book did. I also appreciate the theme in the book that to be a good mentor and a safe haven for other women I must first clean my own "house" and be settled in my walk with God. Well done Pam!
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